I made a beeline for one of the steam rooms, hoping to leave with fewer blood clots, sharper vision, and healthier hair, as the sign outside promised. Either they shower before dipping into the purifying whirlpools or don a freshly laundered uniform for a visit to the sauna rooms. After receiving a numbered bracelet key from the front desk, customers enter a gender-specific locker room, where they shed their clothes and modesty. People from as far away as Houston and Louisiana will drive to visit this bizarre Dallas landmark, where assistant manager Chong Kim will explain that King Spa & Sauna is split into a wet (unclothed) and dry (clothed, unisex) area.

First came shock, followed by curiosity, and then, toward the end of my visit, the unthinkable happened. Imagine the extent of my alarm, then, when I entered King Spa & Sauna, a Korean-inspired bathhouse located just off I-35 on Royal Lane, and found myself face to face with 12 naked women traipsing around a locker room. But my real genius surfaced when I managed to maneuver t-shirt changes prior to gym class in such a way that no patch of skin would ever see daylight. Before that, I was a floating parachute of fabric inside every swimming pool gracious enough to allow a teenager-scared of skin exposure-onto the premises. it took years for my friends to convince me that baggy t-shirts and shorts weren’t proper swimwear.

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